Tumblr (3.0; @rolandfox)http://rolandfox.com/<p>When the kids wake me up at some ungodly hour like 10am, I’ve already got a good amount of drool going, so all I have to do is roll my eyes back in my head and do the zombie arms thing at them and watch them shriek their way back to bed for the rest of the day. Works. Every. Time.</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/443625550http://rolandfox.com/post/443625550Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:37:27 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kz4ttcIl3J1qzw8myo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><i>Hey little sister who’s the one you want<br/> Hey little sister shotgun<br/><br/> It’s a nice day to start again<br/> It’s a nice day for a <a target="_blank" href="http://x103.com/cc-common/gallery/display.html?album_id=220161"><b>White Castle</b> <b>Wedding</b></a></i></p>http://rolandfox.com/post/441640377http://rolandfox.com/post/441640377Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:22:24 -0500I shit you notOnly in Indiana<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kz4l3nTdP81qzw8myo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>It’s the little things like this that get me through the work day.</p> <p>Thanks, <a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/abigvictory">Michele</a>.</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/441386561http://rolandfox.com/post/441386561Thu, 11 Mar 2010 11:13:00 -0500abigvictoryinthefademichele<p>You’ll probably just laugh yourself to death when I come at you wearing nothing but a Speedo, wielding a folding chair.</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/437521591http://rolandfox.com/post/437521591Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:59:00 -0500I suck at the iPhone gamebut it's mad fun<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyzgm67i6j1qzw8myo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I opened the lid, and Chris Hansen popped out and told me to take a seat.</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/435317188http://rolandfox.com/post/435317188Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:47:53 -0500<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyrpmgrpyx1qzw8myo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I’ve already been fooled by the “Want a <i>bigger</i> dick?” scam. That cream actually made my dick smaller, and it burned worse than that time…well, we won’t get into that.  But seriously? You can give me a BRAND NEW DICK? Like, I can pick it out myself? OH THE POSSIBILITIES!</p> <p>Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on <i>you</i>.</p> <p>CLICK</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/426501001http://rolandfox.com/post/426501001Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:23:04 -0500throwback thursdaythth<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyn7dieEpo1qzw8myo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I really have no idea why I did this.</p> <p>(<a target="_blank" href="http://weselec.tumblr.com/post/421378764">Context via weselec</a>)</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/421593916http://rolandfox.com/post/421593916Tue, 02 Mar 2010 01:58:00 -0500<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kymjx0igZa1qzw8myo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>RAWR! I WILL MAKE THE BIGGEST SNOWMAN EVER!</p> <p>(6 feet later)</p> <p>OMG I’M GOING TO DIE</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/420599714http://rolandfox.com/post/420599714Mon, 01 Mar 2010 17:31:00 -0500gpoy<a href="http://www.tuaw.com/2010/03/01/quix-makes-bookmarklets-even-easier-to-use/">Quix makes bookmarklets even easier to use</a>: <p>Our <a target="_blank" href="http://funsizebytes.com/">TJ</a> is one helpful pigeon.</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/419986929http://rolandfox.com/post/419986929Mon, 01 Mar 2010 10:24:00 -0500<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyiec7U6o11qzw8myo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I can’t <em>personally</em> vouch for Jeff’s nice penis, but 58 other people can, right?</p> <p>He is an awesome person, though. Make sure you check out Jeff’s and Jess’s sweet podcast, too.</p> <p>Happy Birthday, Jeff!</p> <p><a href="http://21cp.tumblr.com">http://21cp.tumblr.com</a></p>http://rolandfox.com/post/415590017http://rolandfox.com/post/415590017Sat, 27 Feb 2010 11:40:49 -0500fedgeglueslabs21cp<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kygxjvINEG1qz8x31o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://comedycentral.tumblr.com/post/413931708/10-best-wedding-photobombs">comedycentral</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.comedycentral.com/tosh.0/2010/02/26/10-best-wedding-photobombs/">10 Best Wedding Photobombs</a></p> </blockquote>http://rolandfox.com/post/413936330http://rolandfox.com/post/413936330Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:43:37 -0500<p>Dude. Did you crap yourself? Glad you had fun.<br/><br/>Great to meet you, Mr. Fox, even though it’s sorta your fault I didn’t get any free beer. You know what? IT WAS ONLY *GOOD* TO MEET YOU.<br/><br/>Happy Thanksgiving to you, as well. What part of Columbus were you drowning your liver in this weekend?<br/><br/>Today is a test drive for the bacon. Hoping it doesn’t burn in the oven from all the booze.<br/><br/>I went the Vicodin route. Hope my sister’s kidney pain doesn’t flare up anytime soon.<br/><br/>Ha! I like it. That’s usually how I get my money, too, except substitute mom for sister and crotch for face.<br/><br/>Good morning, you hairy tard.<br/><br/>So essentially I should just start calling him Herpes<br/><br/>All I have to say is OMG that message is so annoying I’m never leaving you a voicemail again.<br/><br/>AGGGGGGHHHH SPIDER THE SIZE OF A SOCCER BALL</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/413869496http://rolandfox.com/post/413869496Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:01:30 -0500<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kygrxeALu71qzw8myo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>You guys are really good at Words With Friends. That makes it 0/3, so percentage wise, I’m…</p> <p>Aww fuck it, math is hard, too :(</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/413747596http://rolandfox.com/post/413747596Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:38:59 -0500need a WWF pick me up?I'm your guy<a href="http://iamyourcanadianboyfriend.com/post/411323718/the-chicken-incident">i am your canadian boyfriend: The Chicken Incident</a>: <blockquote> <p>You may have noticed I like to draw <a href="http://iamyourcanadianboyfriend.com/tagged/animal_trivia">pictures of animals</a> with little bits of “trivia” underneath them. They make me very happy. A while back, friends expressed interest in purchasing merchandise with these drawings on them. So, I opened <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/sweenstuff/">my very own Zazzle store</a>. I’ve sold t-shirts, prints, and…</p> </blockquote> <p>Alright, Sween, here’s my advice. Check out their <a target="_blank" href="http://tess2.uspto.gov/bin/gate.exe?f=doc&state=4008:v0vo8u.2.4">trademark</a>. Seeing as it applies to baseball caps, boxer briefs, boxer shorts, briefs, pajamas, panties, shirts, slippers, socks, thongs, t-shirts, undergarments, underpants, undershirts, and underwear, you may still be able to sell <i>some </i>of your products. See what Zazzle says about that.</p> <p>You’re right, though. It’s ridiculous that they can even trademark that phrase. Best of luck.</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/411358067http://rolandfox.com/post/411358067Thu, 25 Feb 2010 11:27:31 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyeklxcibL1qzw8myo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>True story.</p> <p><b>Wife</b>: You look like you’re trying to be a gangsta. Turn your hat the right way. Or take it off.<br/><b>Me</b>: <i>(Turns hat forward)</i> Mkay.<br/><b>Wife</b>: Now you just look pissed off.<br/><b>Me</b>: I don’t like getting my picture taken, and you’re infringing on my right to wear my hat the way…<br/><b>Wife</b>: <i>(Flashes boob)</i><br/><b>Me</b>: …<br/><b>Wife</b>: Perfect! <i>(CLICK)</i></p>http://rolandfox.com/post/411252401http://rolandfox.com/post/411252401Thu, 25 Feb 2010 10:05:57 -0500funny story but seriously fuck cancer<p>having way more intercourse than the Internet would want you to <a target="_blank" href="http://www.googlism.com/who_is/r/rolandfox/">believe</a>.</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/409504954http://rolandfox.com/post/409504954Wed, 24 Feb 2010 14:38:00 -0500really guys<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ky3satZYHe1qzw8myo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>No, YOU’RE ten years old.</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/398985712http://rolandfox.com/post/398985712Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:18:29 -0500<p><b>Sexy Starbucks Barista</b>: What can I get you?<br/><b>Roland Fox</b>: How about some whip cream? You. Me. Naked. You get the picture.<br/><b>SSB</b>: Umm…<br/><b>RF</b>: Before you say no, keep in mind I’m famous.<br/><b>SSB</b>: Movie star famous or Youtube famous?<br/><b>RF</b>: Close. One of my (finger quote gesture) “tweets” was in the book Twitter Wit.<br/><b>SSB</b>: …<br/><b>RF</b>: It was awesome, too. It had the word proctologist in it, so you know it was good.<br/><b>SSB</b>: Are you gonna order anything?<br/><b>RF</b>: I did. The whip cream. You. Me…<br/><b>SSB</b>: Now that I think about it, you <i>do </i>look like a movie star. You look like that guy from the movie Seven.<br/><b>RF</b>: Brad Pitt?<br/><b>SSB</b>: No.<br/><b>RF</b>: Kevin Spacey?<br/><b>SSB</b>: No.<br/><b>RF</b>: Well, it can’t be Morgan Freeman. OK, I give up. Which one?<br/><b>SSB</b>: The guy who played the gluttony victim.<br/><b>RF</b>: Nice. So you’re saying I’ve got a chance?<br/><br/><i>*Results not guaranteed.</i></p>http://rolandfox.com/post/396773259http://rolandfox.com/post/396773259Thu, 18 Feb 2010 11:20:09 -0500Throwback Thursdaythth<object width="400" height="323"><param name="movie" value="http://swf.tubechop.com/tubechop.swf?vurl=uZu3HXN1kpM&start=45&end=61&cid=51374" /><embed src="http://swf.tubechop.com/tubechop.swf?vurl=uZu3HXN1kpM&start=45&end=61&cid=51374" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="323"></embed></object><br/><br/><p><b>Robin: </b><i>Releasing my fourth finger.</i></p>http://rolandfox.com/post/393436291http://rolandfox.com/post/393436291Tue, 16 Feb 2010 17:22:00 -0500<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxyfjsfqxf1qzw8myo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Captions?</p>http://rolandfox.com/post/393392018http://rolandfox.com/post/393392018Tue, 16 Feb 2010 16:55:03 -0500