March 2010
15 posts
Oh fine. Here's my tattoo.
I was going to get a sweet tat of a naked chick brandishing a ninja sword, but partway through, I changed my mind and got this instead:
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I got a freckle. I think it adds some character. And if you assholes at the tattoo parlor are reading this, you can stop your giggling, because I certainly did not pussy out. I also did not piss my pants (I spilled a Coke), nor did I cry like a bitch (I have...
“I stand there for a moment. And then, if only because William Shatner has asked...”
– GQ Magazine
Outstanding article.
G'bye mate!
True story that happened just a few minutes ago. My son was learning about Australia this week, so I arranged for him to chat on Skype with one of my old gaming buddies who happened to be a REAL Australian.
Son: We ate some Australian food. We had a coconut butter cake. It was pretty good.
Aussie: That's called a lamington. You can go back to school and tell all your friends that.
Son: Cool. We also had these things called Vegemite crackers.
Aussie: Oh yeah? What did you think of those?
Son: They were pretty gross. Oops. Sorry!
Aussie: Nah, it's okay. Nobody here really likes them either. Only masochists eat them.
Son: What's a masochist?
Aussie: It's someone...
Me: OK! Say goodbye, son!
eject: Like 'BOOM' for real. (I didn't come up... →
Whenever an actor plays an innocent person on trial for a crime they didn’t commit I think, “MAN THEY AREN’T ACTING CRAZY ENOUGH!” Because when I’m accused of things that are untrue? I go fucking bananas. And I’ve never been accused of murdering someone, in that case I’d go double BANANAS.
In my experiences, most honest suspects start off quite calm. As the interrogation drags on, they get...
Parenting Tip #76
When the kids wake me up at some ungodly hour like 10am, I’ve already got a good amount of drool going, so all I have to do is roll my eyes back in my head and do the zombie arms thing at them and watch them shriek their way back to bed for the rest of the day. Works. Every. Time.
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I'll kick all your asses at WWF.
You’ll probably just laugh yourself to death when I come at you wearing nothing but a Speedo, wielding a folding chair.
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Quix makes bookmarklets even easier to use →
Our TJ is one helpful pigeon.