January 2010
34 posts
Happy Birthday @Fireland!
Dude, that *does* sound better than finding nachos on the bus. Just barely, though. Drinking a cosmo in your honor.
1 tag
And when I say "Van Halen" be aware that I mean...
(via inthefade)
Michelle, I’m a Roth fan myself, but I can understand why some people would want The Best of Both Worlds. My wife never really was a Van Halen fan, but on one of those Summer Nights in 1986, she kissed me, and it was over. I thought ‘Why Can’t This Be Love?’
She’s an amazing woman, and such an inspiration. We fell on some hard times in 1988, and...
The very public interwebs.
I’m an investigator for a law firm. I basically dig up dirt on people. Sometimes, I’m asked to try and find a person’s Facebook or MySpace profile, which I was asked to do today.
I setup a fake Facebook profile, and friended my “target” in order to gain information about him that he normally kept private. I sent the friend request to him, and within 5 minutes, he...
3 tags
Scott Simpson is a funny mofo.
The last four people to leave Mars Bar were myself, @scottsimpson, @clarko, and @zuhl. We shared a cab. The 5'8" guy (me) got in the front seat and left the much taller people in the back.
Clarko: Man, it's really cramped back here.
Me: Yeah, and you know what will happen if we get in an accident. You two guys on the sides will be fine, and the guy in the middle (Scott) is going to get squished out and fly through the front of the cab.
Scott: Wow, I'm not really sure I like the sound of that. Especially coming from someone I've never met. Let's start this over. Hi, I'm Scott Simpson. And you are?
Me: Roland Fox. Nice to meet you.
Scott: Nice to meet you. OK, start over. Chris, you say, "Man, it's really cramped back here."
Clarko: Man, it's really cramped back here.
Scott: OK, Roland, now you go.
Me: If we get in an accident, you two guys on the sides will be fine, and the guy in the middle is going to get squished out and fly through the front of the cab.
Scott: No, I still don't think I like the sound of that.
1 tag
SFTU
My ticket says I’m in Cincy waiting to go to SF, but when we landed here, the pilot said we were in northern Kentucky, which we all know they shorten to “NO K.Y.” in these parts.
I’m gonna take it like a man.
Room 420
essdogg:
I have been to 420 and seen the naughty pants. Wow. Just wow.
guillee:
If anyone wants chocolates, hugs, or my naughty pants.
IS ROOM 420 ALSO 420 FRIENDLY? I WILL BRING COOL RANCH DORITOS
My hoodie is tucked into my trackpants. So good...
(via angelablack)
I see your hoodie and trackpants and raise you a coffee stain in my crotchal area.
I like my Twitter/Tumblr imaginary friends.
I just un-friended a real-life “friend” on Facebook a few seconds ago because his status update said, “Just got my W-2. Enjoy your fucking money, Haiti.”
Dick.
3 tags
shawnashawna asked: I totally missed snorting lines of hot cocoa! What a great idea! I did it with pixie sticks and ended up in the hospital for a week so...what I'm saying is that I'm kidding.
A Game to Play
gorillasushi:
Assuming your browser tries to auto-complete your URLs, type in the first letter of your name and note the first address listed. Backspace and do the second letter. Continue for your whole first name and post results.
These are the results from my computer at work:
R — rolandfox.com O — online.wsj.com (Wall Street Journal) L — losermovieclub.tumblr.com A — averyedison.com N —...
“Hi, I’m from Russia - a dream to live abroad, my name is Mary, can we get...”
– I checked the location of the IP address contained in this email and it turns out Mary is actually from Brazil, not Russia. I SCORED MYSELF A LATINA YOU GUYS!
My sushi craving has not been satiated. In fact,...
aimee-b-loved:
Like a game of “just the tip.”
Not cool.
You know what they say, once you go gorilla…
Items I get to bring to San Francisco because the...
Cattle prod
Nunchucks
Scented candles
Handcuffs
1 tag
2 tags
Stalkers, ask your questions HERE. Everyone else, ask me here.
That's it.
jaydensmommie:
luckyshirt:
This ends here and now.
Let’s put it to vote…
Was Hook a good movie?
DO YOU LOVE ME OR NOT?
Answer carefully, people.
I wasn’t going to take sides until I saw this. It’s on now.
TEAM MARY, BITCHEZ. JULIA ROBERTS DESERVED AN ACADEMY AWARD.
Playin' it cool.
RF: I'll take the Magic Mushroom Burger, and make it a large so I get my free coke spoon.
Mc D's Guy: You mean the Mushroom N Swiss? And it's a free glass, not a spoon.
RF: You're not Drug Dealer Darryl? But your name tag. And that awesome Taylor Hanson tattoo on your neck that you described over the phone...I'm so confused.
Darryl: Shhhh. Sir, you're supposed to just order the #27 and hand me 50 bucks.
RF: But there's no #27 on the menu...
1 tag
