September 2009
22 posts
If you guys see me on peopleofwalmart.com, the picture is obvz a fake, no hamsters were harmed, and the security staff at the Summersville, West Virginia Wal-Mart are lying sacks of shit. And very soon, the police of Summersville, West Virginia will be lying sacks of shit, too.
Pee Wee Herman on Twitter →
I’m following Pee Wee Herman on Twitter now, because everyone who has jerked off in a theater should be given a second chance, right? RIGHT?
Somewhere in Fireland, a dove cries for Patrick...
fireland:
I haven’t read Hemingway or Faulkner or Melville or Chekhov or Dostoevsky or Austen or Dickens but last night I made it a priority to finally see Point Break because it was urgent that I fill this embarrassing gap in my knowledge of the world. And it was, indeed, 100% pure adrenaline. Next up: Road House.
Dear guy in front of me buying a crossbow and frozen taquitos: Do you want to be...
Abercrombie Sues Beyonce To Block Perfume Release
Law360, New York
Retailer Abercrombie & Fitch Co. has hit pop star Beyonce Knowles with a lawsuit seeking to block the singer from launching a line of perfume named after her alter ego “Sasha Fierce” because the company says it’s too similar to an Abercrombie men’s cologne called “Fierce.”
Imma let you finish reading this entire story here or read the lawsuit here. Imma also try and get a...
4 tags
Hurry Home
Roland Fox: Hey Sweetness! Kristin Fox: Sweetness? Who the hell do you think you are? SeoulBrother? You’ve never called me that before. Roland: Can you get me a beer? Something less than $4, please. Kristin: Oh great. Waitress: No problem, Mr. Fox. PBR, your usual, *comin* right up. Kristin: Lovely. Roland: Well, hello, aren’t you looking naughty tonight? Kristin: You’re at a...
“The Public Records and commercially available data sources used in this system...”
– The database I use for background checks at work
Sorry you guys missed the tweet-up. My mom says...
IN THREE MINUTES IT WILL BE 9:09 on 09/09/09!
luckyshirt:
AS WAS FORETOLD BY JOHN FROM HIS EXILE ON PATMOS.
PREPARE FOR THE FIRST BOWL OF JUDGEMENT!
TIME IS UP, PARTIERS, IMMODEST WOMEN, AND SEX FREAKS!
I’M GOING TO GO MAKE OUT WITH THE FIRST GIRL I SEE AND MAX OUT MY CREDIT CARD ON COMIC BOOKS AND PIXIE STIX.
Oh, and happy birthday, @weselec.
Good thing I have my wig and makeup ready to go!
Twitter Wit will get you laid.*
Sexy Starbucks Barista: What can I get you? Roland Fox: How about some whip cream? You. Me. Naked. You get the picture. SSB: Umm… RF: Before you say no, keep in mind I’m famous. SSB: Movie star famous or Youtube famous? RF: Close. One of my (finger quote gesture) “tweets” was in the book Twitter Wit. SSB: … RF: It was awesome, too. It had the word proctologist in it, so you know...
Of all the junk mail in all the towns in all the...
The subject line read, “Now nobody will dare call you the plumpy one.”
Michael Jackson, 65, Beer Critic and Author, Is... →
gonzaloisgod:
skybarn:
mtobey:
I know he was controversial, but I always tried to separate the beer criticism from the man.
Now, all of those little Heineken’s will stop being molested.
Guys, he’s not really dead! He faked his own death so people would leave him in peace. Haven’t you guy’s seen the YouTube video of him leaving that brewery after he’d been pronounced dead. Classic Wacko Jacko...
“When he tackled her to get the gun he could’ve got shot you know —...”
– From the mom of the kid who tackled the girl with the gun. (CNN.com)
Or mom, you could have been concerned about his LIFE being ended rather than his career. Just sayin.
Nostalgia. (via Avery Edison)
full post:
Judas: Another problem is this habit you’ve picked up of ending all your sermons with “I pity the fool!” Jesus: Hey! That’s not true! Judas: It isn’t? Jesus: No… sometimes I say “foo’”. With an apostrophe.
This is my favorite thing. Ever. Thanks, Avery.
Everything Avery posts is gold, and the easiest way for me to catch up on...
