August 2009
29 posts
Skid Row + Richard Marx = Skid Marx
Inconsiderate prick to the courtesy flush please.
Just sat down in the back of a cab and my pants split at the crotch down to my knee. Cabbie thinks it’s fucking hilarious.
The new Harland Williams podcast. (Itunes)...
Remember that time you went on your first date and...
“A Brazilian TV host denies authorities’ charges that he orchestrated the...”
– I call dibs on this movie script, peeps. You hear that? DIBS.
(cnn.com)
Amen
fireland:
Dusk falls and the oaks shimmer. I’m in the bleachers watching pee-wee soccer. I think my kid just got hit in the face with the ball but who can tell. One thing they don’t tell you when you’re having unprotected intercourse with a waitress? The sound of your child’s fake-crying will be identical to the sound of any child fake-crying, anywhere in the world. I don’t care if it’s Mumbai.
...
I just got into an argument with someone, and they called me a ”fucking schmeg.” I was proud of myself that I pissed them off enough to call me something which I had no clue what it meant. I’m not saying you should Google it, because the Urban Dictionary might lead you to unfollow me. You also might want to keep what’s in your stomach. Just sayin.
“The script for ‘Planes, Trains, and Automobiles’ was the best script...”
– Steve Martin, regarding John Hughes
“It’s sentient beings versus the lizard people, and it is to them I offer...”
– Bill Maher
Blogger: The Drink
via mtobey, editor of The Comedy Central Insider:
On last night’s Colbert Report, Stephen brought on cocktail historian David Wondrich and had him invent a new cocktail called the Colbert Bump. I was so inspired by the segment that I concocted a new drink of my own. It’s called a Blogger, and it’s as delicious as it is simple. Just mix half a cup of day-old coffee with two...
“If auto-fellatio means getting my head stuck under my knee while naked, then...”
– This is why Mom thinks I’m going to hell. Twitter