June 2009
25 posts
Finding My Goddess →
gordonshumway:
This wackjob has written a dating manifesto that includes his requirements for the ladies, things like:
3.2. Body:
She is extremely attractive. She’s HOT. She turns heads wherever she goes.
She is sexy. VERY sexy.
She is beautifully dressed and beautifully groomed.
She has excellent posture.
She has a trim waistline. Alternatively, if her waistline is ALMOST (but not...
Guys, if she asks, it's spelled tumbler.com
Mom: What's this Facebook thingy all about?
RF: Oh, nothing important. Probably too complicated for you. Remember that time you took that "Left Click or Right Click?" class and came home crying? Yeah, way more difficult.
Mom: Really? Wow.
RF: You'll probably get some kind of virus, too. It's probably the most God-hating, liberal, pornography-filled piece of trash out there on the interwebs. Even Rush Limbaugh says it's bad. And if Rush says so, Mom, you have to trust him.
Mom: True. Have you ever checked it out?
RF: Never. Never in a million years.
Mom: That's your tell-tale "I'm lying" phrase. You said that when I asked if you masturbated in the Sears catalog, you said that when I asked if you bought that Bigfoot statue from QVC with my credit card, you said that when I asked if you wore your sister's...
RF: OK, OK. I'm lying. I checked it out. But really, you shouldn't...
Mom: Why are you trying to keep me away from the Facebook?
RF: Mom, listen to Rush. The man is a saint.
Mom: You talk about me on there, don't you?
RF: Never. Never in a million years.
“You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty…I...”
– Thank you Mark Sanford. This shit’s brilliant!
Oh, we're sharing our talents?
jaydensmommie:
mayafish:
I literally just had this conversation at a party last night. The only thing we could come up with for me: I’m great in bed. I’m serious; this happened. Everyone else had actual talents, and I’m the one destined to be a prostitute. I quit life.
Oh, I forgot to mention to you that the talent show is actually at my house. Myr will pick you up on her way here.
Did I...
WatchOnly $1200 to sit at a leadership conference and listen to this guy all day? Sign me the fuck up!
WatchListen for the shutter clicks at 0:34 to 0:40.
Susanna Hoffs
Then and now.
I was really feeling a Bangles joke today, because lets face it, it has the word bang in it. Then I saw that Susanna Hoffs, clearly the hottest of The Bangles, is still workin’ it at age 50 today. I’ve spent the rest of my day GoOGLE Imaging her.
Susanna, how’s about a private concert at the Fox house some time? Bring the Egyptian costume.
Yeah, they get it from me.
The boys and I were eating lunch at a pizzeria today, and That 70's Show was playing on a plasma screen right above our heads, out of view. Fez, played by Wilmer Valderrama, is speaking.
4YO: (To the 6YO) Hey, you remember when Handy Manny fixed the stoplight?
6YO: Yeah, that was cool.
4YO: My favorite tool is Turner. He's funny.
6YO: My favorite is Stretch.
Me: (To the 4YO) What on earth made you think of Handy Manny just then?
4YO: Because I heard him talking.
The title character of the cartoon Handy Manny is voiced by Wilmer Valderrama. It sounds like at least one of my kids has the same gift I do—the gift of instantly recognizing any actor's face or voice, no matter how obscure. I'm like the human IMDB. I hate to tell him that no one has ever been impressed by my endless trivial knowledge, but it's still kinda cool.
Pump Up The Volume 2 Announced
Starring Shia Labeouf as a lonely high school student broadcasting his outlaw views on a pirate analog TV station.
You heard it here first.
Antipsychotics get tentative OK for kids
USA Today article
I rarely get into “issues” in any online arena, but this just makes me want to vomit. I’ve screamed for years that one of the major details that often get overlooked in school shootings is the use of antipsychotic drugs by the assailants. It looks like someone else has seen the same link between violence and antipsychotic drugs, and has actually taken the...
The remaining members of The Doors (Ray Manzarek,...
Episode Nineteen: Way Too Outside
fireland:
arrivehavingeaten:
A long episode, but it’s full of fireland.
Also, please support the podcast by buying a tshirt.
Episode run length: 31:34
Subscribe to us in iTunes
Direct download link
Ha ha the greasy wheel gets the squeak.
I was listening to the podcast at work, and 2 seconds after I caught my breath after Josh said “Super Pubes,” I got my text...
inthefade:
Insert” awkward silence breaker” dick...
WatchSwords!
Another F.O.D. classic.
“If you’d rather not hear Anchorman quotes while you’re having sex;...”
– @EbirdMC
I guess Tumblarity does not take fucking weekends...
Suck it, Trebek.
I have French Canadian blood.
weselec:
There, I said it.
I feel like Chris Cooper in American Beauty.
1. Hella cool.
2. How are u storing it?
3. CAN I HAVE SOME