December 2009
51 posts
True Story.
katydidsays:
So, um, there’s this girl I know. And she was kind of hanging out with this guy. And he told her he was married, but that he and his wife had been separated for a while, and lived in separate houses. And she sort of belived him. And then she found out he was lying. So she confronted him. And he admitted they weren’t really separated. And they weren’t really living in separate...
Oof.
yowhatsthehaps:
That is all.
Goof Aloof Mothproof OOFUUUCK
I don’t have an iPhone, so this is my version of that Words game thingy.
charlize theron - Google Image Search →
OMG someone pull the plug on the Internet. My scrotal brain has taken over my clicker finger! I’m going into Charlize overload…
Hey, what’s this “Turn safe search OFF?”
<FLATLINE>_________________________
On writing.
aedison:
I’ve had the words “Steve Buscemi santa” sitting in my notebook for a week now. I know that when I wrote them down as I was going to sleep I knew exactly what they meant, but now they seem insane.
What was I planning on doing with this amazing concept? Writing a short little piece where a kid gets freaked out because his santa looks like, or is, Steve Buscemi? Obviously, that would be...
WatchPlease watch this important holiday message.
Why didn't you jerks tell me Movember was over...
I get it now. November, Movember. But still, I looked pretty silly in a pink tutu and a handlebar stache.
4 tags
KEVIN JONAS GOT MARRIED IN A WINTER WONDERLAND AND...
Abandoned Tweet Friday
Lorena Bobbitt | something something | Tiger Woods | lol | tiger penis soup | blah blah | the end
Take Ben Compton with Food or Milk
texburgher:
frageelaytwit:
The most common side effects from Ben Compton are rash, ringing in the ears, headaches, dizziness, drowsiness, abdominal pain, nausea, diarrhea, constipation and heartburn. Ben Compton reduces the ability of blood to clot and therefore increase bleeding after an injury. Ben Compton may cause ulceration of the stomach or intestine, and the ulcers may bleed....
your friday nite bite:
smartalexnation:
TWO TAKES ON TROUBLING NEWS.
immaculate misconception.
hell, mary.
smart alex nation
“Joseph, I swear. It was just God. It was only once. It meant nothing.”
Really digging this guy’s stuff. Would love to use the second one as my Christmas cards! Worth a couple clicks and a follow.
Click on each picture to embiggen in your dashboard.
Dad: I couldn't find your blog, but I did order...
http://tumbler.com
1 tag
Today
I was invited by a friend to join the Mafia and whack said friend’s rival gang lord.
I was offered a gift of a tree, a shrub, and a chicken.
I was invited by a friend to join the ranks of Knighthood and build up my kingdom, which would, in turn, build up my friend’s kingdom.
I found out 25 of my friends were part of an elite society called Farmville. Several of them have asked me...
Formspring meh
I like my questions like I like my sex: ANONYMOUS.
My one and only real dealbreaker story
Dealbreaker: You think The Lair of the White Worm is the best movie ever, so you bring it over to my place to watch. Then, you talk about your ex-boyfriend’s cock size throughout the entire movie. Like how much it HURT when you had sex with him. Oh, and during the nudy parts, you longingly look at me, and then talk about his cock again.
OMFG I just realized why she liked that movie so much....
return of Dealbreaker
callmebez:
I posted a bunch of deal breakers two weeks ago, all true stories of dating experiences in the last few years. Well guess what, I have more stories. As long as I keep up my pattern of short-lived relationships that end in flaw discovery, I’ll be Dealbreaking everytime it happens.
When do I become an honorary cast member of Seinfeld?
These are real? WHOA
I only have one real...
rsmallbone:
meaghano:
I just accidentally quoted Jerry Maguire in an email.
You can’t handle the money you…uh, just showed me. SHOW ME THE TRUTH!
No, wait, I’ll get this.
You…auto-complete me. (via biorhythmist)
4 tags
542542 (kgbkgb)!
snickr:
Okay, so guys! Josh and I were watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and talking about how awful and boring and ugly and not funny it is. But then, I said. “Didn’t it pretty much invent the family-at-Christmas-comedy formula? Can you think of any similar movie that came out before then?”
Josh stared at me. I stared at him.
I liked The Family Stone, because it has Clairrrrre,...
