November 2009
43 posts
frankensteining my dream man
callmebez: I will take pieces from the following men: Eric Cartman: Speech Patterns/Music Taste/Athleticism Steve-O: Creativity/Indesctuctible Epidermis John Stamos: Anti-Aging/Black Magic Just don’t touch Stamos’s hair, abs, or butt. Already called dibs. It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again…
Nov 30th
7 notes
3 tags
Nov 30th
Please design a logo for me. With pie charts. For... →
funsizebytes: Back and forth between a graphic designer and a douche bag “idea guy” who would like him to do some design work. @simonedhouse
Nov 25th
16 notes
Nov 25th
40 notes
Nov 24th
5 notes
Honey reads at his own risk.
snickr: So, listen. I saw New Moon tonight. You’d think I’d have been there on Thursday night with all the tweens and the ladies who watch E! and read In Touch, camping out to see the midnight showing. I assure you, my heart was wistful, impressed by their moxie. Josh and I had gone to see 2012, so we ended up coming out right when the line was getting impressive. Little clusters of girls...
Nov 24th
8 notes
Nov 23rd
44 notes
People who met IRL over the weekend.
funsizebytes: piscesinpurple: YOUR PHOTOS ARE KILLING ME. KILLING ME, I SAY. Carry on. We have already decided that there will be more Luomapaloozas in the future, the next one will likely be in the spring. We hope you’ll come. Or to SF in January… Or to the next Chicagoish whenever it is… Or the next wherever/whenever… And I meant what I said: The first rule of tweetups is this:...
Nov 23rd
38 notes
6 tags
Nov 23rd
1 note
Nov 20th
54 notes
5 tags
Nov 20th
127 notes
Your Menstruating Heart
fireland: I’m fishing with my uncle. We don’t even have poles or a boat or anything, just a 30-pack of Tecate and a pond that looks like it’s time to call the plumber. We’re throwing Pringles in there but they’re not biting. I ask him why he never had any kids, like kids of his own that would maybe like to go fishing with him, like a real father-son bonding thing? Like instead of making me go? ...
Nov 19th
56 notes
Nov 19th
403 notes
Nov 18th
3 notes
OH I GET IT! SURPRISE "BUTTSECKS" LMAO
Nov 18th
2 notes
1 tag
Nov 17th
1 note
Nov 17th
2 notes
yayaa: bonusland: YO. S-E-X IS A TEST WHEN I’M PRESSED SO BACK UP OFF WITH LESS OF THAT ZEST IMPRESS THIS BROTHER WITH A LIFE OF VIRTUE THE INNOCENCE THAT’S SPENT IS GONNA HURT YOU SAFE IS THE WAY THEY SAY TO PLAY THEN AGAIN SAFE AIN’T SAFE AT ALL TODAY SO JUST WAIT FOR THE MATE THAT’S STRAIGHT FROM GOD DON’T HAVE SEX TILL YOU TIE THE KNOT WOW DC TALK! Old School. I remember that song. I...
Nov 17th
14 notes
WatchWatch
John Belushi: Little Chocolate Donuts Best physical comedian. Ever. Sorry Jim Carrey, you don’t come close.
Nov 17th
1 note
Memoirs
October 2, 1998: Went to my first circle jerk tonight. Very disappointed. Where were all the ladies? It would have been rude to just leave, so I just closed my eyes and imagined I was pumping a Super Soaker. A Super Soaker attached to a grunting, sweaty, hairy man.
Nov 13th
Me: This broccoli cheese soup is gonna be so good! You know what the best part about preparing it is?
Wife: Don't you dare sing it.
Me: I...don't know what you mean.
Wife: DON'T.
Nov 13th
2 notes
Nov 13th
25 notes
Nov 12th
27 notes
Nov 11th
2 notes
Nov 10th
Nov 10th
1 note
Can you get the swine flu twice?
Because this first bout of it I’m about to come down with is totally fake.
Nov 10th
1 note
OMG BURNING PEA BURNING PEA
From my first ever Cup Noodles®
Nov 9th
2 notes
Nov 9th
63 notes
Me, sarcastically: The world could use a few more vampire novels. Wife: You’re dead to me. No, you’re ALIVE to me. That’s worse. Me: I just read the last page in that 4th Twilight book. Edward… Wife, with fingers in ears: LA LA LA LA LA… Me: kills… Wife: LA LA LA… Me: and runs off with… Wife: LA LA ALIVE TO ME? YOU HEAR THAT? LA LA LA…
Nov 6th
Nov 6th
4 notes
6 tags
Nov 6th
36 notes
Nov 6th
3 notes
So if you ever thought about following Tumblr via...
funsizebytes: Every Tumblr has an RSS feed. Just throw /rss at the end. For example: http://funsizebytes.com/ becomes http://funsizebytes.com/rss You could then import them all into Google Reader. Why? Biggest Advantage IMO: You could read them oldest to newest rather than newest first. Because then you could know how many posts you’d missed, you could sort them by person or by date. You...
Nov 6th
6 notes
Nov 5th
Nov 5th
14 notes
ListenGoogle Wave Invitation - Activation link - NO...
Nov 5th
Nov 5th
151 notes
Nov 4th
1 note
2 tags
Nov 4th
1 note
You know how the ladies have that awesome thing...
Well, I’m rocking that look today, too, except it’s my beautiful belly. It’s ok to be jealous.
Nov 4th
3 notes
and the comment of the day goes to
inthefade: [on my PJM article] 50. donttreadonme: This crime is the ultimate nihilist result of state-sponsored Godless neo-liberalism/fascism. The State neuters the demands on civility and the family structure, and then leaves a vacuum of broken nanny-State promises. Prove it otherwise, you rotten sycophantic fellow-travelling worthless scum Obamaniac statists. The mind boggles. Just....
Nov 3rd
21 notes
Chapter One
triggerwarning: And just to counteract that mention just now, I’ll add that I don’t really have a Sonicare, because whenever I use an electric toothbrush I feel like I’m giving a blow-job to a robot. Was perusing my daily Avery today, and saw the link for her new Tumblr/novel. I don’t know why, but I tend to scroll through a web page after it loads, and this paragraph caught my...
Nov 2nd
2 notes